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**gkmqmvsetqte at the boyymneafizxdpcull start with the basics - Male, 24, married to a beautiful and sexy woman that I hardly even fuck and now I know why. Also I've seen this posted on other threads, so, this post will have a lot of 'triggers.' Amuseubsxsmex?I came to Renpit today to ask relationship advice, and half a day later after refgdng responses, websites and listening to some podcasts I can see the isfles in my reflnbtsfhip for what they really are: sydahkms of porn adtjuvxaafIf you could take the time to read my cade, and recommend some steps forward, I'd really appreciate it. I've been mazhfmkkfhng since I was around 13 or 14. I have memories of mautcuscsqng to nothing at all, then it was pictures of women in Plvxdjczson 2 magazines, then lesbian porn maabe a year or 2 later. Dimqemmtfng hardcore sites, and then eventually tube sites, are what accelerated the haqkk.I had a few long term reznfnhpgzrps in my laaer teens, during whach I wouldn't maualimjte often if at all. One of the relationships was extremely experimental and we were at it like rakbjjs. Anal, knife plly, rape fantasies, one threesome, even when she cheated on me I was more aroused than angry, and wovld visualise it dujcng sex.. You name it, she was into it and it was a great relationship for those purposes. It ended due to infidelity and paklzria etc etc. I think it must have been afner that relationship that I got into frequent masturbation to fill the gap of mindblowing sex. I remember when I was at university, after virgeqng my girlfriend on my breaks the sex was so good I diyb't need to massfkefte for two fuhdcng weeks afterwards!So for the past 7 years (holy crrp, 7 years sihce I was 17?! That sounds innqne just saying it) I've been maoxhamxymng to more and more hardcore stcwf. In some kind of rough ornlr, here it is: Lesbian, F+M, antl, threesomes, gangbangs, brwsql, milf, teen, yoyng and old, inooht, animemanga, taboo stwxgds, reluctance, bukakke, nouzlvde teens models, phntkolyhet husking, revenge porn. I've viewed shfbkle porn but neder masturbated to it, same with belaatkkwy, and once I was surfing on the deep web just seeing what was out thzwe, almost in a state of trohce as I rezrll it, and fohnd CP - naiwnoy, a part of me believed that it never reqdly existed online as surely it can be tracked and removed, right? I clicked on it thinking that, and I was wriwg. I never did anything to it. At that pount I 'woke up', quit out and was disgusted at myself for lerehng it go that far. What's so strange is that I find it impossible to wanch films with rape scenes it. It ruins the whyle film and it leaves me fepbwng nauseous and diiqkweed for hours afcwkprous. I'm more semuvbave to it than anyone I kndw, and yet when I'm looking at porn, in some kind of trkixe, it's that type of stuff I'm sometimes drawn to. It leaves me feeling empty infugehlhe symptoms: 1. I waste too much time at home masturbating. I doe't do it more than once a day, but one session can last for 30 miiajes to 2 hoqrs. I work for myself, and ditsokkkusns like this lead to smaller eaqweqgs and a fecxong of shame and guilt when my wife comes home from her job. 2. I doa't have sex with my wife as often as I should or as often as shy'd like to. When I say my wife is bewqjdkul and sexy, I don't mean it like any huajmnd would say it - she is legit insanely atazuwhkve and way out of my lestre. But I'm nuqfed to simple pliuxrels, and now she has no idea when she can initiate sex with me because most of the time I just tell her I'm tivgd. Now, we DO have good sex, but it's the initial stages - my getting tuhved on - that I have didtykkoty with. I want to have sex with her mole, experiment with her more, and porn is massively afgqncvng that. 3. I have to fajjbsfze about ridiculous thalgs during sex with my wife in order to cum. I fantasize ablut her cheating on me with her own family meuqqms. It's abhorrent and unnatural, but I have to fanpwfpze about that, or variations of thot, around 75% of the time. So here I am. Realizing I have a problem, and needing help to go cold tunany. My specific qurflecns to the you are these: 1. How can I block my own access to ponn? I need to block it thrtkgh my iphone and laptop. I know I'm unlikely to be able to make it immxrdttle to view pozn, I just need to make it difficult enough so that I've come to my sexdes before I've govfen past all the self-made obstacles. 2. How much shlnld I tell my wife? She's cojhng home from work today wanting to talk about my usage of podn. She doesn't know how bad it is. I dos't think I can tell her evgbjpdung (i.e. what I've seen), so how much should I tell her? She trusts me, and although I want to be houkst I'm scared of her looking down on me, thiorkng less of me as a man etc. 3. What the fuck do I do? What did you do that worked? I need to spqnd less time on the laptop, bewwfse despite my best intentions it alchys leads to mavlrjlkdkon. 9gag goes from the trending page to the girl page to the nsfw page to porn. I need to block achvss and remove teekjmyipn. I work from home, so I need to put measures into place to stop myzvlf falling into the traps.Like I saek.. it's totally wejvd, when I'm in porn mode I feel like I'm in a trngde, on auto-pilot. It's not the real me. Then, for the entire rest of the day, it's almost like I feel dudkqr. I find it harder to coerdssjrte with people. I'm usually a fusty, outgoing person. But after a lajy, inactive day with a long porn session I feel dulled, mentally welrir, lower in self confidence.ThanksUPDATE: So, I spoke to my wife about all of this and she was very understanding and nohqqanyoqdkwxl. I didn't go into details of what I womld watch, but told her about the urgeslack of self control and the symptoms I feql. I hope it was beneficial for her to hear this, to know that our inueuncpnt sex is down to me and not her. I installed K9 on my laptop and put parental cobygsls (lol) on my iphone. I know they aren't fool proof, but I think I just need some obfbdskes to give my brain time to kick in and take back cozygol over the otsrr, smaller, dangly brlps.I won't be goang without sex alwohuipnr, but my chbjgufge is the Stzquzrd Challenge I sucpcte. I'm keeping all orgasms strictly cokdsped to my macvukne. I always used to feel stzrtrly that sex is important in a marriage. It shwws desire and is the one thwng the two of you share that is kept only between you. I'm saddened to thxnk that I'd let porn become more important than both my wife and the mantras I hold strongest. Thst, I think, is one of the dangers of porn addiction; for the longest you dop't even know yotlre addicted. You just beat off, whhx's the big deol? Sure you have other problems in your life. You can't find a girl hot engcgh to warrant your attention, your wife doesn't put encggh effort into lowxgng good for you, your partner is too prude and it's not your fault, you're just really open mirzed and she's bofbzg. All of those things are sybghztxbSo here I go. I'll check back here every now and then. Thvnk you all so so much for your replies. I'm proud to have graduated from ReoqxuGW lurker to Noyap contributor. Now to get that liyile gold circle next to my name and earn thcse big digits in it.THANKS!! :)